My Mother Fairuz

Today I go see Fairuz and "see" not only refers to sight here but it involves the five senses combined in the verb "to feel". Fairuz for me is something I breathe. This is not poetry, but I can't imagine myself born in an age where Fairuz is yet to be born or has gone long ago. This icon has done to my being, affected what I am now, and carved my mind and emotional intelligence more than any other ideology, religion, science, or philosophy has. If you can define music then I can define the feeling Fairuz inflicts on me. This feeling is a weird mixture of the fragrances of my childhood, the pain of adolescence, and the sweet and sour tastes of my days. There were days when I thought that Fairuz could be my mother. I like this theory about mothers, that motherhood could be seen on women's faces and that there are women you meet that you feel could have been your mother, Fairuz is one of them. This is another feeling that I find hard to explain. It is not in their attitude but rather in their facial expressions, in their eyes, in the age of their skin and in the pain below it. Fairuz is all of this.

Subjectively

I think that the word "habibi" is the most beautiful word in the Arabic language both phonetically and semantically. You only have to hear either fairuz or myself say it to know what I mean.

On my mind

Tears came to my eyes while sitting

For the last time, together, silent

Nostalgia, in your eyes

Nostalgia, in your silence

Oh, only if I know, Sweetheart, who's on your mind

Oh, only if I know, Sweetheart, who's on your mind

In the seaside coffee shop

I look at your hands

You sip from your cup and I sip from your eyes

You escape me, I lose you

And I can't find you

I call you, you are right next to me, and I am looking for you

I hide my face, I see you with some stranger

Oh, only if I know, Sweetheart, who's on your mind

Fairuz

So that I can sleep

Oh... How I fear
to knock on your door and not find you
Oh... How I fear
midnight comes and not talk to you

(...)

I wish your house was not far away
and the gate under your house was not of steel
In no time I could meet you
and climb to talk to you
Habibi
so that I can sleep

Fairouz

On my mind

I have faith in you
I put hopes on you
enough for you
What more do you ask
Do you want me to die for you
I am about to die for you
Believe it if you can
enough for you
All my sentences end with you

Fayruz