Sunday, November 22, 2009

The great battle

Loneliness can get addictive once you realize the value of time. The problem is that it can be repulsive for some for the same reason. While time passes are you in the course of living or in the course of dying? It all depends on how one perceives time. This is not a question of optimism versus pessimism or seeing the glass half empty or half full, it can be rather compared to drinking to forget or drinking to remember or more accurately drinking to suffer without pain. Most people who drink to forget a certain misery end up just remembering it, yet they do it because it is a means to remember their suffering without feeling it with the same intensity. It becomes a way of testing their tolerance for pain or of enjoying their endurance to suffering which without alcohol can be unbearable, something similar to pain killers that replaces pain with numbness. Now going back to loneliness, if you are someone who is of the second category of people, those who tend to drink to remember without suffering, then you don’t want to waste time forgetting, and hence you will be in constant strive for defying time. Remembering does not necessarily mean living in the past. It is a state of conserving the present and denying the future, in the sense of depriving time from the privilege of reigning over your future. In your struggle with time, you tend to make it as meaningless as possible, as slow as possible to the extent of boredom. In this, loneliness can be your best weapon. Yet, in your battle with time, you might win a battle but never the war. Time does not know defeat. Sooner or later, you get to enjoy your loneliness, boredom withers away, leaving you alone in the battlefield and time supremely reigns thereafter. Philosophers have always been consumed by the theme of time. Most of them concluded that it can only be defeated by death. This dilemma has also been a recurrent theme for art and literature which tried to defeat time with greatness or with utmost absurdity, or more stupidity.

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