Sunday, February 21, 2010

The formula: Annex

The previous post would zero in to one formula simply:

Lebanese society = Hypocrisy.

Let's see what other adjective you would give to the following phenomena:
1- It is okay to act as and be seen and treated as a female object... "euh, of course I am against premarital sex".
2- I punch in at home from time to time so that I don't hear the phrase "You think your home is a hotel?"... euh, I am a 40 year old (virgin, or not) living with my parents...
3- "Don't forget your jacket!"... "yes mom, thank you for reminding me". From time to time I ask her opinion about what jacket she thinks I should wear so that I don't hear "You never ask for our opinion!"
4- "Dad, today I got a raise at work" so that their happiness for what they consider their own success makes them forget that for the past three days I have been sleeping at my "non existing" Friend Paula (i.e. Paul) and that like them I am against cohabitation. Da!
5- Oh... Thank God, WE in the east, still value the family, the (religious) community, the communal spirit unlike the individualistic selfish self centered west. But, why should I respect general order, wait in a queue, abide by traffic lights and rules? For the good of all? what all? My car is so dirty. I will throw all the garbage on the road, or better on the highway, on speed.
6- "Lebanon is the most beautiful country. I love Lebanon"... and I would die to get another passport. Oh... you are Canadian... you lucky you. I envy you.
7- My favorite joke is "there are two things I hate: sectarianism and Shi'a." Ha.
8- If a female is to undergo an x-ray, nurses here would ask her(to check possible pregnancy): demoiselle or madame?
9. Ah.. the newest joke in Lebanon: Man, you are now ready to become Lebanese. Last step: go get a blackberry. It doesn't matter if you don't have an email account or if no one sends you emails in the first place.
The list is much longer and I don't care if I am generalizing here or victimizing a tiny minority that falls out of this stereotyping. I feel an urge to go shout from rooftops "this is not okay" and then go in the street and start punching every passerby in the face and then say "You know why, and if you don't you will figure out, and if you don't, just know that you deserve it". Rachid in "film ameriqi tawil" did it and ended in a mental institution. But honestly, Lebanon is a big (or small) psychic ward. If a "normal" person enters a psychic ward and adapts easily and manages to smile and live there, then most probably he belongs. Well, everyone here is smiling and nothing feels wrong. They are a bunch of happy psychos. As my sister would say "they are uncomfortable" summarizing all the above.

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